Friday, 13 October 2017

Endangered Species (2002)



This is just a loose excuse for softcore porn, isn't it?


Endangered Species

Synopsis

A killing machine from another world comes to Earth to kill humans.

Review

Yeah. That. First off, I had to see Eric Roberts sex face. No one should have to witness that. Next, there is no acting in this film. None. Fin.


Eric Roberts

So the synopsis is a little lacking. It's more along the lines of I Come in Peace/Dark Angel except instead of Dolph Lundgren and Brian Benben in a satisfying actiony science fiction piece, it's Eric Roberts and John Rhys-Davies wheezing about in a nonsensical rip off plot involving aliens stealing human skin. To wear. Like they did to the dinosaurs. Leaving them extinct.

I shit you not. The bad guys in this film wiped out the dinosaurs because they were making biker jackets out of them.


"Sex-on-legs" Roberts

I'm almost bemused on how it got made.

And oh God, the gratuitous nudity. I'm fairly sure they made the film and found it to only be, say, 52 minutes, and the director, Kevin Tunney (Brain Dead - not that one) went, 'Well how are we going to fill this?', just as a naked woman danced across in front of him. In the shower. Advertising a strip club.

Jeez.


"This-is-my-career" Roberts

There is nothing on display here to see (um, yeah). This film has Arnold Vosloo in. He's better than this.

Just.

I cannot recommend this to anyone over the age of thirteen. Who doesn't have access to the Internet.

Damn.

I mean, I couldn't even get a proper trailer for it.

Sex face.




No comments:

Post a Comment