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Shockwave (2006)

Called A.I. Assault in some places.
So bad it's good, or just so bad?

Programmed to Think. Wired to destroy!

A plane carrying two military AI "killer robots" goes down on a remote (uncharted) island. So does a helicopter carrying thieves on the run! Hilarity ensues.

Basically, some military, some crooks, and a scientist are trapped on a remote uncharted island fighting two terrible CGI killbots. Badly.

I mean, look:

I'm really here. REALLY!

Anyway. Moving passed the CG.

The film boasts a bizarrely impressive cast. Michael Dorn (Star Trek: TNG), George Takei (Star Trek: OS), Tim Thomerson (Trancers), and Robert Picardo (Star Trek: Voyager). But they're not really the stars, of course. Josh Coxx (Babylon 5), Joe Lando (JAG) and Lisa LoCicero (General Hospital) head the cast, and honestly, the acting across the board is pretty solid. The problems come in a couple of forms however. The dialogue is bizarre in places - with the whole screenplay lacking - the CGI I've already mentioned, and then there's the island.


Okay, the dialogue is just straight odd:

Tiffany:   "Can you land?"
Jack:   "No, but I can crash real good. I guarantee it."

It's like the writers didn't know what they were doing. It was written by William Langlois (Komodo Vs. Cobra) under a pseudonym, and William Langlois (Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre / Sexipede!). Wait. That probably explains a lot. How did they get half the cast of Star Trek involved?

Then there is the abandoned island.


Eventually explained as a WWII outpost, and not inhabited since then, the island is suspiciously well maintained. The roads are kept. The grass cut. The lights work in the buildings, that sort of thing. It takes you out of the film.

And this film is actually work seeing. It's laughably great. But full of errors! Does that make it better?


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